Connection is the Core
In a world where we are able to affirm the practice of spirituality and energetic movement as a tool for self-healing, we see a lot of advice missing the core of its "how". Listen to your body, ask your heart, honor that feeling, go inward. These are all beautiful examples of great advice, but for most, it is a hurdle or feat of connecting to ourselves that we find the most mysterious and challenging. without this innate understanding of this self-connection, these directions leave us scratching our heads, frustrated, and wondering why this simple instruction seems impossible.
If this is you, please know I see you, while it may feel like you are at square one with a million more to go, I want to first validate how many steps it took you to get to this moment of awareness. to be able to look around at yourself and your life and be honest about what isn't in your affinity is huge. Even better it deeply indicates that you are ready for the next step. It's time to learn the continuous and lifelong process of being connected with yourself!
Connection is at the core of every spiritual process, whether you are connecting with a god, a spirit guide, an ancestor, or the earth! to be able to learn to do these things effectively, we first must learn to have this connection and communication with our own soul and spirit (energy). Yes, we can learn self-connection from our interactions with spirit (an outside-in method if you will). however, getting familiar with your own soul and energy will vastly help you differentiate your spiritual experiences authentically (for example learning to differentiate what may be your own energy, what may be trauma energy, or what may be a completely separate spirit guide energy). Simply, the outside-in method certainly has more trial and error as you learn to identify your own narratives and energy that may filter spiritual experiences. Though often chaotic, the Outside-in method is valid, it was eventually how I discovered connection as I barrel-rolled into my spiritual awakening. For those of us that wish for a more graceful descent into connection, those of us that get extremely discouraged with trial and error, or those of us that are newer to spiritual practices and themes, the inside-out approach is deeply helpful for opening up to connection with the self and ultimately if desired, divinity.
Other than using self-connection as a tool to connect with divinity, connection with yourself is crucial for healing the wounds so many of us walk around with. Trauma is both the main reason for our disconnection and the reason we strive to reconnect. So many of us have convinced ourselves that we have "healed" from our past traumas, yet still walk around with so much pain, sadness, and perspectives that invalidate, devalue, and limit us in our physical and metaphysical lives. It's my truth that this experience stems from a belief system that the trauma created which many of us now see the world through- disconnection. disconnection during trauma was safety. disconnection during trauma was protection. Eventually, this disconnection becomes a numbing force that separates us from ourselves even when we are offered safety and healing. We can talk about the disconnection as much as we can, affirm how bad it is for our health and experience, and yet still deeply struggle to understand how to BE connected. This was me after ten years of traditional talk therapy, working so hard mentally, yet seeing or feeling no change in my behaviors, perspectives, and emotions. Why? because it was all being worked out in my brain. I understood the bits and pieces, I understood the why, and I even understood the how, but I was deeply lacking the connection to participate with my own physical and emotional body who were left abandoned. I performed every coping mechanism imaginable, every worksheet, box breathing, or mental process, yet I didn't have the connection with myself that I truly needed to actually receive the healing behind those activities. If I could go back in time to myself and share one thing, it would be this process of reconnection which I now center both my spiritual practice around as well as my mundane self-care.
disclaimer. this is my truth. it does not have to be your truth. Please feel free to take what is helpful/relevant to you and disregard the rest.
The Big HOW
How do we get connected to be able to effectively participate with a self healing task, coping mechanism, or prompt to go inward?
There are two main factors of connection.
presence.
embodiment.
Presence
Are you experiencing an emotion and only considering its past roots? are you agitated because you can't seem to do enough to create the future you need? Are you trying to focus, but find your brain with a million different places or people at once? Are you having a heated conversation and only hearing triggers from your past? Are you struggling to respond accurately to whatever situation you are in? these are all huge indications that your consciousness energy is not in the present and is likely outside of your energetic body as well as deep in the past or the future.
To be present is to gather all of your consciousness energy, your focus, your thoughts into the present moment of today, this hour, this minute, and even this second. I will be honest and say this is easier said than done, as the world around us provides many reasons to not be present and the trauma in our bodies often scream "it is NOT SAFE". however, the only way we can learn is if we test the waters, move with the fear, and create a container to practice this presence, even if only for a moment- even if we don't succeed. After several honest attempts, the past fades, the narratives and emotions belonging to the past go with it, we pull ourselves out of future thinking and planning, the anxiety softens, and we sink deeply into the moment around us. Sometimes we are greeted with our world feeling smaller and more simple. sometimes we are greeted with either the big task or plateau that has been sitting in front of us for so long. Whether what greets you is soothing or slightly uncomfortable, we receive confirmation that if it is also here in the present moment it is an authentic step on our healing and spiritual paths. humans have some powerful brain potential, we are able to direct our thought energy not only anywhere in the world we desire, but even through time itself. We are that powerful. However, with this ability, we have the opportunity to take what we have learned or observed with our consciousness and bring it back to the present moment where we can apply it. This seems counterintuitive, since we are often striving to heal from past events, it would seem that we must be energetically in those past events to heal. What I have learned, however, is that staying in the past energetically will only prolong its experiences, jumping into the future is counting on something that is not quite real or obtainable, so that leaves the present moment as the most potential vessel for healing. The present moment offers the potential to offer yourself what you need now- today-to soothe the wounds left open from the past. we cannot go into the past to close them, but we can tend to the wound how it is now, at this moment, and provide the care it actually needs instead of responding to how the wound once looked long ago. think of presence as the location for integration, we can gather information from anywhere, but we end up always weaving it all together in the present moment.
Embodiment
Are you feeling disconnected from your body? Not really sure what your emotions are saying? are you not really sure where this physical pain is coming from? Have you been dissociated? Have you been told your "head is in the clouds"? Can you work for hours and hours without caring for your body until you hit a crashing point? Are you unable to hear your body's basic cues for hunger? thirst? the bathroom? Are you not able to feel pleasure? These are all great indications that you are struggling to be energetically in your body.
To be embodied is the practice of joining your soul body back into your physical body. Just like how presence is the consciousness gathered up in the present moment, embodiment is the movement of your soul body completely in line with your physical body. It can be experienced as being able to intimately feel every limb on your body, feel what position your body is in, and receive feedback from the physical body about its experience. Like presence, the world gives us many reasons to not be connected to our bodies. to participate in today's society sometimes means to push the physical body beyond what it is comfortable with, as well as to limit the care of your physical body, and treat the body conditionally. If we were inside our bodies while experiencing this, it's likely it would be uncomfortable. however, even if we are not in our bodies and continuously putting them through this kind of pain, that pain will have to be communicated eventually in other measures. For me, the other measures are often physical sickness, burnout, and mental health spirals, all of which can last weeks, months, even years. Intentionally learning to become embodied in myself has been the stable remedy for these long periods of disconnection. Often when I reconnect with my physical body, it has a lot to say, a lot of needs, a lot of emotions, a lot of physical pain. this can become overwhelming. Many people often stop here, because they assume this release is an indicator of hurting the situation rather than helping. however, this is the second necessary step to embodiment: holding space for and listening to what comes up. There will be a tidal wave, but every tide becomes low at one point. As the practice of embodiment is continued, it will grow easier to honor and hold space for what your physical body needs in the present moment: Food, water, sleep, validation, unconditional love, soothing. All things you can immediately provide for yourself or reach out to obtain. Whatever communication your body offers you through embodiment, we can take it as an opportunity to soothe, heal, and provide ourselves with what we need to feel supported and healthy.
Ideally, the combination of someone who is both present in the now moment and embodied fully in their physical body creates the most potent environment to receive connection with the self. however, we as humans are not always ideal (and this is okay). So, oftentimes we may focus on one until we have the energy to add the additional piece. Sometimes we flip flop between the two. This is a natural occurrence as healing or integrating habits is not a linear process. This is where I'm going to offer your words of pure permission (not that you need it from me but in case it helps your cute little brain move through this with absolute confidence)...
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO TAKE PRACTICING SELF CONNECTION AT YOUR OWN PACE. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO TAKE DAYS OFF. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO PICK AND CHOOSE, ONLY FOCUS ON ONE, DIVE INTO BOTH, OR FUCK THE WHOLE PROCESS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT PERFECTLY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECTLY PRESENT OR EMBODIED. THAT IS NOT SOMETHING THAT EXISTS. YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES. MAKING MISTAKES IS AMAZING. IT'S HOW WE LEARN! EVEN YOUR INTENTION IS POWER. You are the one that gets to decide how to participate, it's okay to make that accessible, gentle, and slow. This work is hard work. Especially for those of us who have been disconnected for so long. it's a lot to come back to and take care of.
Now that we are aware of the components of connection with the self, how do we apply it in practice? to first attempt to regain connection you must first be able to observe your disconnection. What does it look like when you are at your most disembodied? how do you function when your consciousness is not present? take note of your telltale signs of this disconnection. There will usually be a few main major indicators that are able to signal that a shift is needed. for me, my indicators often look like ignoring my hunger cues and getting "hangry", feeling disempowered because I can't "do" anything to "make me feel better", emotional reactivity, physical clumsiness, and brain fog. Take note of what behavior highlights that you are in disconnection, it will likely look different for you than it does for me. Allow yourself a grace period where you just observe your behaviors without any judgment or need to fix or change anything. Just take note of how your body communicates that it is disconnected to you. Once you are able to be aware of your body's signals of disconnection you are ready to attempt to move into connection! There is no better time for healing than when the trigger is hot! Pick one of the disconnection signs you are experiencing currently or at the peak of your disconnection and ask yourself if it comes from you not being in the present moment or you not being connected with your body. Find your answer? amazing! Now we get to try to use that channel to reconnect! is it both? awesome! pick one to start off with. Take five minutes to attempt to call your consciousness energy into the present moment or guide your energy body back into your physical body. Allow yourself a full five minutes to submerge yourself into the task. Need more time? honor that if you have space! Only have five minutes? what an amazing opportunity to try it out!! Even the slightest bit of intention or effort will be massively received by your body and soul. five minutes CAN completely shift your energy. a moment of awareness CAN change your experience. This practice of forming a connection through intentional presence and embodiment can not only begin to empower you to respond to the needs and wants of your body and soul but eventually can open you up to your own intuition and find more complex solutions, next steps on your path, and even connection with divinity.
Connection is the core, presence and embodiment are the ingredients, and the rest is you in all of your authentic, real, and unique expressions. It's time to get to know this you and listen to what they have to say. this daily practice creates a strong foundation that can support further hardships, lead you to fulfillment, and open you up to spiritual experiences that leave you feeling aligned and empowered and ready to co-create your life's experience with the divine.
Want more assistance with this topic? Check out my Instagram for brief guided energy work on becoming present and embodied! Use them as tools when the trigger is hot or use them as building blocks for your own personal practice. Feel like you have major roadblocks or blind spots that make this connection extremely difficult? I offer personal energetic healing sessions to target those blockages, release the energy/perspectives that created them, and hold space for your authentic truth to come into its place. It’s okay to need extra support, It would be an honor to hold a sacred space for you to get present and embodied with yourself.
May we all find ourselves deeply grounded in our bodies and the present moment.
May we begin to honor the communication that is presented to us from this space.
May we all begin to validate the divinity in our own self-connection.
The Liminal Psychic
